


The Letter!

by ThelonewolfA



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, F/F, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-01-09 02:55:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12267444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThelonewolfA/pseuds/ThelonewolfA
Summary: AU story. Vera realized something about herself and need to do something.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time i ever written a story in English. it´s not my first languages. The author MsYukari help me with the grammar.  
> This is a AU story based on a true story with some fantasies. What´s real and what is fiction? I leave it up to you as a reader to decide or figure out :)

Vera, watched her favorite show, when she came to the realization about something. _Did that happen?_ _Did she really kiss her teacher?_ _Why do I feel like this?_ _Wondering how it would feel to kiss Joan's lips._ _Oh, come on Vera, get a grip._ _It´s a TV show, not reality._ _Joan is not in love with you...or is she?_ _I wonder what would happen if I told her._ _No, I can´t do that._ _She is my mentor._ _I need to do something._

Vera called her friend Will since he was easy to talk to and he understood her for the most. They decided to meet in the park later that night.  
Will sat down on the bench and Vera felt so upset and confused that she could not sit down. She paced back and forth; she was restless. 

“Why don’t you sit down and talked to me, you said it was urgent, so go on tell me. 

Vera sat down.

“I don’t know what to say…you know Joan--”

“Yes, what´s with her?” Interrupted Will.

_I can´t say it to him. He thinks I'm crazy. I need to come up with something for him to believe._

“She is our mentor. What do you think about her?

“Yes, and she´s hot...and...” Said Will with a big smile.

“And what?” Vera could feel how she started to blush. “Do you like her? I mean, what do you think about her as a person? Not just how she looks.” 

“I don´t know. What do you think about her? I think I know,” he said and laughed.

Vera bit her lip and could feel the heat in her face rise up and colour her cheeks red. “Do you know how I feel about her? 

“No, I don´t, but I can put two and two together and you called me and said it was urgent for you to talk to me. I guess you feel something for her, more than a mentor. I guess you love her!” 

Vera rose up from the bench and turned her back against Will. She could not look at him right now.

“You might be right...I think I do, or I know I do.” She started to tell him everything that happened in the last few months. What she had kept inside, about the show she had been watching tonight, and everything was falling into place. 

“How are I going to find the courage to tell her? Should I tell her? What can I do? Help me,” she pleaded.

Will was quiet for a while before he responded.

“You should write her a letter...”

“What do you mean, like a love letter?” She asked and laughed. “I can´t do that.”

“I know you can. You express yourself very well through writing. Go home and write. Tell her that you love her and that you want to be her girlfriend,” he said and hugged Vera. “I need to go now. Good luck.” Will walked away and Vera sat down on the bench and turned her head up towards the sky. She saw a star fall and she closed her eyes and made a wish. That night she was up until morning and tried to write the letter. 

A week had passed and she had to try and avoid meeting Joan both inside and outside the school. Vera had become like a stalker, she knew exactly what bus and where and when Joan used to get off, and what way she took to walk. This time Vera were taking a different way home. She rounded a corner and then almost walked right into Joan. _Oh shit. This can´t be happening not now. I can´t look at her. I walked past her. Please don´t say anything._

“Watch where you're going,” Joan said irritated and stood in front of her. 

“Oh, I´m sorry, I was in a hurry,” Vera said.

“Oh, it´s you,” Joan said and stared down at Vera. “We need to talk.”

Vera stares down at the ground and tried to get past her.

“Look at me when I'm talking to you,” Joan said and blocked her way.

Vera can feel how she started to blush again, and slowly looked up. _I can´t stand here. I need to get away from her. I want to disappear right now._

“You are not going to your classes tomorrow. You will come to my office instead,” Joan said with a determined voice.

“I can´t. I need to go to my theater lesson,” Vera said quietly.

“Then you go to that lesson, and right after you're to come to my office. I will be waiting. I can´t stand here talking to you. Out of the way!” 

Vera moved aside and Joan hurried away. Vera looked after Joan. _What have I done? I don’t want to talk to her, I´m not ready for that. Being alone in the office...anything can happen. Oh, I wish I hadn't written that letter to her._


	2. Chapter 2

The day after Vera had her theater lesson, she walked up the stairs to Ms. Ferguson's office. She knocked on the door and waited, feeling nervous. She could hear how Joan was talking to someone on the phone. After a while she heard Joan's voice.

“You can come in now.”

Vera opens the door slowly and walks in. Joan was standing in front of the windows and looking out.

“How did you know it was me?

“I said I was waiting for you to come,” Joan said, still looking out. “Sit down!”

Vera sat down in the chair. Joan was still looking out of the window.

“Take of your jacket. You will be here for a long time. We have some things to talk about.”  
Vera couldn't see Joan's smirking face. “Let me help you,” she said, turning around and walking towards Vera. Vera could feel how nervous she was. She bit her lip and swallowed. Joan help her remove the jacket from her shoulders. 

“Thank you!” Vera said.

Joan walks to a drawer behind Vera and took out a folder. She stands between Vera and the desk, putting down the folder on the desk and pulled out an envelope and opened it.

Vera knew exactly what the letter inside says. It's the letter she wrote.  Joan picked up the letter.

“So, this is why you are here. We need to talk about this letter I received from you, or should I say, a love letter. Did you have something to say about it?” She asked and smirked.

Vera couldn't not look at Joan because she was ashamed. She sat quietly, looking down at her knees.

“You wrote it. Surely you must have something to say?”

“I'm so sorry I wrote it. I don´t know what got into me. I am sorry if I confused you. I know you are my mentor, but I can't help what I feel for you. It confused me. Please can I go now?” Vera rose up from the chair.

“No, you can't go. I said you will be here a long time,” Joan said and pulled her down in the chair. “Sit and don’t move until I say so.”

Joan picked up the letter and started to read:  
“'I have never felt like this for another women before and--'”

“Please... please don't read it,” Vera begged and rose from the chair try to take the letter from her. 

Joan stretches out her hand and it nudges at Vera's breast and pulled back. 

“I said don't move!” She said firmly. 

Vera sat down, surprised by the touch. She could feel the heat rising below her stomach and her mind drifted away. 

_She touched me. Did she notice that? It happened so fast. I wonder how it would feel to kiss her? What it would feel like with her body pressed against mine. Everything could happen in this office. I would like her to fuck me right here on the desk._

Vera shook her head. _Be_ _careful what you wish for._ She could feel herself start to get wet between her thighs. She blushed.

“'And sometimes I wonder how it would feel to kiss.' Do you?” Joan smirked and continued to read, 'to feel a woman's touch...'” A hard  knock on the door interrupted the reading. The door opens and another teacher comes in.

“Sorry if I interrupted something, I need to speak to you Ferguson.”

Joan walked over the door. “I have a busy schedule today. I don’t like when people interrupt.” She wrinkled the nose and crossed her arms.

Bu... but, we really need to speak--”

“As I said, I don’t like to be interrupted.” She closed the door and was going to lock it when someone knocked again. She opened the door, slightly annoyed.

“What is it now?”

Outside the door, a student stood with some books. Joan turned her head and took a quick look at the wall clock. He was right in time. Everything went according to her plans so far. 

“I was going to return this to you, that´s all.” He give her the books and walked away. 

Joan walked over to Vera. “Here take this I'll be right back,” she he said and walked out from the office.

Vera was holding the books in her hands and took a quick look at them, and then put them on the desk.

_Wait, what it this?_

Between the books was a small booklet with the title: _Lesbian Sex._ She pulled out the booklet and started to read. She blushed even more when she felt how wet she was now. Once again her mind drifted away.

Joan stood outside the door and waited for the right time to enter. _I wonder_ _if she has found the booklet? I wonder if she read I? I will wait little more before I go in._ She felt excited to get her next plan in motion.

Vera were sitting in her own thoughts and didn't notice when Joan entered. Joan stood behind her and could see what she was reading. A wicked smile spread across her face. _Everything goes as I plan. She will get what she wants. I will seduce her._

She couldn’t resist anymore. She needed to kiss that beautiful neck. She leaned in and brought her lips to her neck and placed a soft kiss.

Vera shrugged at the touch. Joan whispering close to Vera's ear, “Vera  what are you thinking about? You can keep that for later.” She placed her hands on Vera's shoulders. Vera pushed her hands off of her and rose from the chair. She turned around and push it away.

“You know what I'm thinking about.”

Without knowing what happened next, Joan found herself pressed against the wall.  She could see Vera's eyes filled with desire. Vera looked up at Joan's lips. Joan leaned down and their lips met in a kiss. The kiss is gentle and soft. Joan placed her hand behind Vera's neck and the other on her hip and pushed her tighter against her.

Vera put her arms around Joan's neck and the kiss became deeper. Their tongues danced in each other's mouth, biting each other's lips. Joan placed her hand on Vera's chest. Vera pulled away from the kiss and looked up at her.

Joan said confused, “Why did you stop?”

“You planned this, didn't you? You planed this the whole time. You want to have me on the desk, don’t you?” She said, feeling frustrated.

“So what if I did?” Joan asked and took a step closer that made Vera take a step back. 

“I know this is what you wanted. It's what you said in the letter. To kiss and feel another woman. I can give this to you. And I knew you'd want it. Don't you?”

Joan now backed Vera against the desk. Vera struggled to find the words she wanted to say, but she knew that Joan was right. She wanted her so bad. Joan pressed her harder against the desk and leaned over her.

“Ye... yes I do,” she gasped when she felt Joan's hand press between her thighs and her own wetness spread against her underwear. Joan pulled up the shirt and started to kiss Vera's stomach and up to her breast. She licked her nipples and sucked on them until they got hard.  Her hand still between Vera's thighs, she pressed harder against her and started to rub her hand fast and hard against her trousers. Vera moaned.

“Let see if you are you wet.” Joan tugged the trousers down to the ankles, placing her hand in her underwear. The wet stickiness could not be mistaken. The smell of Vera's arousal hit Joan's nose. “Oh, you like this. This is just the beginning. I will make you beg for more. Move up.”

Vera moved herself up a little bit and was now laying on the desk. Joan started to move and circles her index finger up and down outside the underwear. She places soft kisses on the thighs and move up towards her pussy and traces her tongue, pulling back. She could hear Vera's breathing change the more she teased her.

“Are you sure you want this? I can stop,” She said as she was pulling down the underwear.

“I want this, I want.. I want you to be the first who touches me,” she said quietly.

Joan didn't need to hear anymore. She dove her head down to Vera's glorious wetness and her tongue started to lap at her folds, sucking and licking up and down around the clit. She stopped, gasping for air and continued. This time she moved her tongue faster over the clit, around the the folds. Vera whimpered and moaned. 

Joan's fingers teased the entrance and spread the folds before she found her way in and she started to pump them in and out. She looked up at Vera who had her eyes closed _._

_She´s so beautiful. Everything goes as I plan. Nothing can go wrong now._

Joan swirled her tongue around, writing the alphabet, pumping her fingers in and out. Enjoyed every second she was between her legs. She closed her eyes and imagined Vera's mouth licking up and down her pussy. She could feel the wetness spread between her thighs. She licked her lips and moaned. Her body hungered for the young woman's. She needed to feel her pussy rubbing against hers. 

She tugged down her own pants with one hand, the other still thrusting in and out of Vera in a slow tempo. She removed her hand and climbed on top of her started to move her hips. Vera open her eyes 

“What are you doing? Why did you stop?”

“I wanted to feel your body,” she said and kissed Vera.

Vera felt her own salty juices on her lips. She had never tasted herself or had sex before. She became excited and her hands moved up to caress Joan's breast, but Joan pulled them away.

“Don't touch me!” She said with sharp tone.

“Sorry I didn't mean... ohhhh,” she moaned as Joan's hand was rubbing her clit.

Vera put her legs around Joan's body and pressed her against her, their hips finding a rhythm and as they kissed each other. Joan thrust her fingers inside Vera hard.

“Oh, fuck,” Vera said.

She increased the rhythm and could feel how the wall began to clench around her fingers. She circled the clit with her thumb. Vera felt her whole body tense and cried out. She lowered her legs from Joan's hips. She shivered as she laid on the desk.

“Stand up, and put your clothes on _.”_

“That... that was amazing,” she gasped.

“You didn't expect that was going to happen when I said we needed to talk,” Joan said with a big grin on her face, placing a kiss on her forehead and helping her up.

“How could someone expect something like this to happen?” She asked and stared at Joan's body. She needed to touch her.

“Here, get dressed,” Joan said and handed Vera her pants. They both got dressed and when they hugged each other, Vera couldn't resist to reach her up under Joan's shirt.

The slap to her face come from nowhere.  She looked at Joan and Joan looked back with anger in her eyes.

Vera grabbed her jacket and ran out of the office and down the stairs. She stopped and looked up at the window. No one was there.

What she didn't know was that Joan stood and watched her behind the curtain with tears streaming down her eyes.  _Why did I do that? Why can I not let anyone touch me? How could I hit her?_

Vera put her hand on her red cheek with her tears streaming down _. What happened? She was so nice at first. That tender kiss, her soft touch, and then she hit me. I can't believe she hit me. What did I do?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed to read this chapter. This is my first attempt to write smut.


	3. Chapter 3

They haven't spoken to each other for weeks, the classmates started to notice something was wrong between them, since they used to be such good friends and talked every day. Vera had started to behave different than usual. She was angry and she wanted to be left alone. One day after she had her theater class, she stayed behind in the room and started to take away the properties. The door opens and Joan sneaks in, shutting the door quietly behind her. She walks over to a chair and sits down. In her hand she holds a paper.

Vera didn't notice that Joan was in the room. She was so busy with what she was doing while memorizing her lines. Joan sat and looked at Vera for a while. Joan was amused by watching Vera memorize her lines while acting at the same time. 

_Look at her. She's so beautiful and funny, How could I hit her? I do hope she can forgive me. I miss our small talk. Oh please forgive me, I need to say something._

“We needed to talk about this,” Joan said and held up the paper. Vera jumped at the voice.

“You scared me. What is it?” She asked and kept her distance from Joan.

“Vera, what have you done?” Joan got up from the chair, shaking her head and handed over the paper to Vera. Vera started to read.

“Is it true what they said? Did you hit another teacher? Why?  Let us sit down and talk about this.”

Vera couldn't look at Joan. She stared at the paper and then looked out the room. She walked away to sit down on the couch _._

_How are I going to explain this for her? I can't even look at her for what she did to me. I could lie to her. She doesn't know if I'm telling the truth or not. I'll just make up a story, and we´ll see what s happen. I don´t care! I hate her!_

Joan walked after her and sat down beside her. Vera looked out in the room and started talking.

“She was saying things that was not true in front of all the others. She said I was worthless in economy and that I would fail the class. That it's no point for me to come to her class anymore. Then I called her a cunt and she slapped me. I got angry and said some more curse words to her before I pushed her away and got back to my chair. I didn't hit her as it says in the letter from the principal.”

Vera lied. That was not the case. She was angry at Joan and she just snapped when she and the other teacher had an argument. She did call that teacher a cunt and some other bad name, but the hit or the push came after Vera had run out of the classroom and the teacher ran after her and grabbed her arm, holding it tight.

_“Don’t touch me. You are not going to slap me again,” Vera had said, and moved out of the tight grip around her. She shoved her elbow in the teacher's stomach and pushed her hard before she ran away._

Vera saw Joan's face when the teacher grabbed her arm. It was Joan she was angry with. She didn't mean to hurt the teacher. Now it was too late. Now they were going to have a meeting about this with the principal together with Joan since she was her mentor and then she'll have a long detention. Vera could feel how Joan looked at her. Joan knew that Vera lied for her. Or did she?  It was hard to tell. Vera had changed since they last saw each other. She was not in the usual places where she used to find her hanging around. Vera had avoided her for weeks and she had heard others talking about how Vera had changed. 

“Is that so? I think you're lying for me,” she said and moved closer. Vera could feel the anger boiling inside and tears started to fill her eyes. Joan put her hand in Vera's lap. Vera turned her head and met Joan's gaze. They sat quietly and stared at each other. If someone would have come into the room, they would feel the tension between them. Joan leaned forward like she was going in for a kiss, but instead she hesitated and spoke in a low voice.

“Tell me what's happened Vera. I can help you.”

Vera tried to get up from the couch and Joan grabbed her elbow and pulled her down to her face. Without thinking what she was doing, Joan leaned in and tried to kiss Vera. Vera turned her head away and her voice trembled..

“I was angry, I…I was angry at you.”

“Phuh, that's hardly my fault that you hit someone,” Joan snort. 

Vera couldn’t hold back anymore. With clenched fists she started to bang on Joan's chest and tears are streaming down her cheeks.

“I…I hate you. How could you do that to me? Why did you hit me?”

Joan grabs her arms and holds them still. “I know you don’t hate me, and I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here because I am your mentor and we are going to have a meeting with the principal. I wanted to talk to you before that and see if I can help you,” she said and wiped away Vera's tears.

“I am sorry for what I've done. Please believe me when I said I didn't hit her. I don't want to talk to the principal. He will not understand. Can't you talk to him?” Vera asked and peered up at Joan. Joan smirked.

“Sure, I can try to talk to him. Ask if you can help me instead of getting detention. Come up to my office after lunch.”

Vera didn't know that Joan already had talked to him and convinced him that Vera could have the detention with her instead. The only reason she was in the same room as Vera right now was because she wanted to break the silence between them and try  to understand why Vera had been avoiding her for so long. Joan gave Vera a quick hug before she walked out. Vera sat on the couch and looked after Joan. 

_What happened between us? Her soft hand on my lap. I wonder if she felt that too. She must have felt something. She tried to kiss me. Or did she want me on the couch? Oh, I'm going crazy about this woman. Why can't she admit that she loves me? The prom is in a few weeks and after that I will never meet her again._  


	4. Chapter 4

After lunch she was going to Joan's office to hear her punishment. Vera stood outside the door and she was going to knock when the doors open and out stepped the principal. He looked angry and walked past her without saying a word. Vera stepped in and closed the door. Joan is sitting behind her desk and going through some paperwork, she does a motion with her hand and pointed at the chair. Vera sits down.

  
“What was that all about? He looks very angry.”

  
“Quiet!

  
“You don’t have to shout i´m sitting here or should I go and--”

  
“Could you please be quiet,” Joan cut off. She looks up from the papers and Vera can see that something is wrong. Vera reached out her hand and put it over Joan's. Joan pull it back.

  
“Vera don't…please don't.” Joan rose from the chair and goes behind Vera to the drawer cabinet, took out a pile of paper and a binder.

  
“I have talk to him and you are going to help me with this paperwork. I need them sorted in date order and put in this binder. You can sit over here.” She starts laying the items on the small table in the back of the room.

  
“I need continue with my paperwork and be quiet!” Vera walks over to the table and started to sort the paper. They sat doing this in silence. Sometimes they give each other sneak peeks and continued with their work. Suddenly Joan broke their silence.

  
“I can't do this anymore,” Joan said and leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. “You can leave!” Vera walked over to Joan and stood between the desk and her. She takes Joan's hand.

  
“Are you ok? What happened? I'm not going until you tell me what's wrong.” Joan opens her eyes and look down at her hand. This time she didn't pull it away instead she squeezed Veras hand gently.

  
“It's not only you who have done things, I have done things I must pay for now. I received a warning for something I've done and if this comes out I will lose my job. So don't be surprised if I'm gone before it's time for the prom. Before you say something, this have nothing to do with us—er, you.” She corrected herself quickly and let go of her hand.

  
“Us? What do you mean about that?” Joan sat quietly and looked down at the papers. It took a few seconds for Vera to think about what Joan said.

  
“Aha you mean the thing that happen in here?” Joan stared at Vera.

  
“Vera, nothing happen here that day. Are we clear about that?!” Vera nodded.

  
“Do you want me to leave?” _Please say no. I want to stay with you. I want to hold you. Even after what you've done to me, I miss you._ Joan stood up from the chair and walked over to the table, picked up the binder and started to scroll through the pages.

  
“No, stay if you can. Come over here.” Vera walked over so they're standing close. Joan handed over the binder to Vera and pointed.

  
“Vera, take a look at this. Do you think this date comes before this? I'm disappointed in you. I thought I could give you this task.” Vera realized her mistake and was going to fix it, when she felt Joan place the arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer and placed a gentle kiss on her head.

  
“Vera, do you want to stay and talk? I missed you.” Vera placed her arm around Joan's waist.

  
“I missed you too.” They were embracing each other and Vera kissed Joan on the cheek. Joan could feel something happening to her. A strong, strange and warm feeling wrapped around her heart. She felt calm in the arms of Vera. _What's happening to me? Why do I feel like this? What it is this? I used to only become aroused when I saw her. I want her but this feels different. Oh shit... is this love? I can't love her... I can't. _Joan let go of Vera__

  
“I can't.”

  
“You can't what?”

  
_Did I say that out loud?_ “Nothing, let's sit down and talk like we used to. I have missed that. Do you want to have something? I can go and get some sandwiches.

  
“Yes please, I would like that.” Joan goes to the door, before she leaves the office she looks at Vera.

  
“Thank you for staying.” She disappears out. Vera sits down on the table. She turns her head to the desk. _I still can't grasp that we had sex in here; that she did what I had written and a little more. It was only fantasies but they came true._ Vera felt how the redness rose in her face and a familiar wet feeling appeared between her legs. _I wonder if she still has the letter._

  
She went to the drawer cabinet and on the top of it she found the booklet. The same booklet she had read the last time she was in this room. She opened it and continued to read where she was interrupted last time. The doors opened and Joan walked in with a tray. Vera tried to hide the booklet but instead it falls down on the floor. She dives down in front of Joan to hurry and pick it up. Joan almost stumbles over her.

  
“Watch out! What are you doing?” She sets down the tray on the table.

  
“Nothing.” Vera tried to hide the booklet but Joan saw it.

  
“Hand it over. Are you trying to steal things now?

  
“No, I don´t steal.” She laid the booklet on the table. Joan looked down at the booklet and laughed. Vera's face turned red.

  
“Vera, your innocence makes you so cute sometimes. I like that about you. Sit down and let us eat and talk like we used to do. You can keep that for later. Maybe you'll learn something.” _Stupid me, saying something like that. Interesting that she'd read this again, I wonder if—stop it._ Joan shook her head to get the pictures out of her mind.

  
They started to talk, and it was like nothing had happen between them. Both have missed each other’s company and now when they have this time together, they need to take care of every minute and second for they both know it could be the last time they saw each other since Joan might lose her job.


	5. Chapter 5

The weeks went by fast. Joan and Vera had taken every opportunity to meet and talk. They had become friends again. Everything was back to normal, or almost. Vera still had her temper to handle and had received detention a few times, but Joan was always there to talk her out of it. So they could spend time together instead. One day when Vera knocked on the door to Ms. Ferguson's office, a young man opened it.

“Hi! Where is Joan—I  mean, Ms. Ferguson?”

“Hi! You must be Vera,” he said and reached out his hand. “I am Ted, your new mentor. Come in, I have something for you.” Vera walked in and closed the door, looking around and the room was different than last time. The small table was gone, the desk was gone, and instead it was a big table with four chairs around it.

“She wanted you to have this,” he said and gave her a box. “Could you stay for a minute now when you're here, and we could have a talk about what you're thinking about doing after graduation?”

_Where is she? What happen to her? I was here on Thursday last week, and now it's Monday and she gone._

“Yes, we can talk.” Vera sat down on the table and looked out through the window. “What do you want to know?”

“I have spoken to Ms. Ferguson, and she wanted me to keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t do anything you'll regret. I have no idea what she means. We were also talking about if you are going to stay an extra year and take the classes you failed in.” Vera turned her head towards him.

“No! Absolutely not. It was something she said I could do, nothing I wanted.” _I can't do that. Sure we talk about that, but that was because Joan was going to watch over me. She was going to help me with the classes I failed, and she´s not here now._

_“_ I'll graduate together with my classmates.” The conversation kept going on forever, he had so many questions and Vera tried to answer them the best she could. All she wanted was to get out of there and open the box. When she finally got out and on her way to the bus, she stopped and opened the box. Inside is a black cap with the letters **FIGHTER** written in red, and a letter to her.

**_Dear Vera,_ **

**_I don’t know where to start. I am sorry I didn't tell you last week about me leaving. I´m not so much for goodbyes. I told you that you wouldn't be surprised if I were gone before the prom. It's such a shame. I would liked to have seen you in that dress. The dress you said you hated so much to wear when you tried it out. I bet you look stunning in it._ **

**_I didn't tell you the truth. That day the principal were angry; he was angry at me. He found out about my past and that I was not fit to work here. I had cheated on my test to become a teacher. I needed a job, and I lied for you about losing my job. I didn't lose my job, I resigned. I’m so sorry Vera, but I couldn't handle what I did to you. After you run out, I stood in the window and looked after you. I saw how you looked up at me, and I hurried to hide behind the curtain. I was crying. I really hated myself. I have liked you from the first day we met. You were special, and my curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to get to know you better._ **

**_For me, you were always the little fighter the others didn't see.. You awoke something in me and I knew I needed to get to know you more._** _I_ ** _was attracted to you. The day I got your letter, I was so confused, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to feel. So I decided to act on the feelings I had. I know it was wrong. Do I regret it? No! Let me say this: That day didn't end as I planned. I´m sorry for that! I know you're angry with me now as you read this, but I do hope you like your gift. If you don’t, have a look inside the cap... take a look._**

**_Your friend,_ **

**_Joan_ **

Vera felt so much emotion coming up when she read the letter. She turned over the cap and looked inside. On the whole inside and all around in the cap it said: **TAKE CARE**. Vera smiled. Those words meant a lot to her. It's a common word that says, but for Vera is was more than that, it was the word Joan and she always said to each other before they were leaving. She put the cap on and jumped on to the bus. When she sat down, she read the letter over and over. _“Do I regret it? No! Let me says this: That day didn't end the way I planned.”_

Prom day was here. Vera was sitting in the corner of a table and looked at all the others dancing and having fun. She really didn't want to be there at all. Every time someone asked if she wanted to dance she shook her head and turned to the glass of alcohol. She saw Will in the crowd and waved him over. They sat and talked and all Vera talked about was Joan. Will asked Vera if she wanted to dance. She shook her head, saying that she's leaving the prom. They gave each other a goodbye hug and Will disappeared out on the dance floor. Vera called a taxi and walked out of the building. Five minutes later a taxi arrives, and she jumped in. Looking out the car window and seeing all the lights flashing by made her a little dizzy. She closed her eyes and put her head against the window, thinking of the letter. _“That day didn't end the way I planned.”_

“Stop, I need to get out. Let me of here.” The taxi driver stopped, and she got out and paid him. He gave her a look and then drove away. Vera started to feel dizzier and as she walked in the dark night it started to rain. _Why am I feeling like this? I am not drunk. I didn't drink that much. Oh, no... I need to throw up._ She bent over seconds later and started to vomit. When she felt little better, she started to walk again. Vera didn't know how long she had walked, she only know why she now stood outside Joan's doors. She wanted answers. She knocked on the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Joan was in the kitchen and preparing a meal. Tonight she was expecting company. There was plenty of time before she would come. Joan wanted everything to be perfect. She hasn't dated someone for a long time. She put the dish in the oven and walked into her bedroom as she changed the sheets in the bed, and dust off her bed tables, and took a quick look inside one of the drawers. She smiled when she laid her eyes on the sex toys. Good, everything was in place.

She knows what this night would bring. Rough sex. When she thought back ,she hasn't had sex in a long time _. The thing with Vera was something else. It was only sexual desire; a fantasy, a fuck. I can´t do this. What happens if I hit this person when she touches me? She will not take it like Vera. Vera was special; my little fighter._

She smiled at the memory of Vera memorizing her lines. Joan walked to the closet and took out a dress, looked at it and hung it back. She took out a white shirt and laid it on the bed.  She went into the bathroom to take a shower. The hot water streaming down on her body and her thoughts went to that day in the office.

She had planned everything so well. She was going to read some part of the letter for her, doing some of the things that was described in it. The student was going to come with books and she would've put the lesbian booklet between the books as she knew Vera would find and read it. After, they whould have talked about the letter and Joan would have tried to seduce her slowly before she were going to fuck her on the desk. It didn't go exactly as she had planned but they had sex.

Joan closed her eyes and started touching herself at the image of Vera siting on her knees and tasting her wetness. She could feel how Vera circled her tongue around her clit and how she pushed Joan against the wall, standing up and kissing her and her fingers pumping in and out. Joan's body became tense, squeezing her fingers harder, the legs starting to shiver and the orgasm making her falling slowly down to the shower floor. After a while she rose up and started to wash her hair. She remembered the dish in the oven. Hurrying to get dress, she runs into the kitchen to turn the oven off. Then she hears the knock on the door. She takes a quick look in the mirror and straightened her shirt before she opened the door.

“Vera!” Said Joan surprised. “What are you doing here?” She couldn't believe her eyes. Vera standing in front of her soaking wet in her prom dress.

“I'm not feeling good, can I come in?” Joan hesitated before she took Vera's arm and pulled her inside and closed the door. 

“You are soaking wet, I'll get a towel.” Joan walks away as Vera takes off her wet shoes and put them aside. Joan comes back with a towel, wraps it around her, takes a step back and looks at her _. So beautiful. Unfortunately bad timing. I can give her dry clothes and then she can leave. And a shower. She needs a hot shower._

“Don’t stand there and get cold. You need a hot shower. Come with me.” They walk to the bathroom and Joan turned on the water. 

“Can you help me get it off? I can't reach the back,” Vera said as she tried to get out of the wet dress. Joan stood behind, her hands starting to shake when she pulled down the zipper on the dress _.  Why I am shaking? I have seen her. I have touched her. I want her. Why is she here?_

“Why are you here? Are not your parents worried? It's late.” Vera's dress fell to the floor and she stood in her underwear. She stepped out of the dress, and turned around to face Joan.

“No, they're not home,” Vera said. Joan struggled to hold back her desire and reminded herself that she was expecting company any minute now.

“I'll leave some dry clothes on the bed. Then you must go.”

“Thank you!”

Joan walked into the bedroom and tried to find some clothes for Vera. She laid a t-shirt and sweatpants on the bed and heard the doorbell ring _. Not now, breathe._

Once again she stops in front of the mirror and straighten her shirt before she opens the door.

“Hi! Come in! Malin was it?” Joan shakes her and she can hear the shower _.  I hope she doesn't hear it. What will I say if Vera comes out of the shower when we're eating?_  

They walked to the kitchen and Joan gave Malin something to drink while she lays up the food on the plates. Time flies by as they're eating, drinking, and laughing. 

When Joan puts the plates in the dishwasher, the young girl sneaks up behind her and puts her arms around her waist. She starts kissing her neck and puts her hand inside her pants .Joan moans, turning her head and their lips meets in a kiss. Malin takes out her hand and turned Joan around so they're facing each other. She unbuttons her shirt, finding Joan's breast and sucks on them. 

“Oh, Vera,” moans Joan. The girl stops and looks at Joan.

“Vera, who is Vera?”

“Vera!” Joan pushes the girl away and runs to the bathroom. The door is locked she can still hear the shower. She started to hit the door.

“Vera! Vera open the door!” Joan runs back to kitchen, grabbing a knife and hurries back to try and unlock the door with the knife. After a while she succeeds, opening the door and sees Vera laying there in the shower and the water streaming down her naked body. She hurried to turn off the water and fell to her knees beside Vera. She picked her up and carried her out from the shower and sits down on the floor as she laid Vera over her knees.

“Vera! Vera! Can you hear me? Wake up!” She clapped Vera on the cheeks. _Oh, no, oh no, please_ _wake up_. She feels the panic rise in her. 

“I need help, I don’t know what to do!” Malin was leaning against the door frame and stared at them.

“So this is Vera. She's cute.”

“Don´t stand there! Help me! Give me a towel!”

“Is she breathing?” Joan looked at Vera and could see her chest moving slowly. That movement from Vera calmed her down a little. _Thank god she's breathing. I don’t know what I will do if I lose her._

“Yes… Vera, wake up. Come on.” She keep on clapping her hand on Vera's cheeks and she opened her eyes and coughed. Joan smiled and took her in her arms. She stroked the wet hair from Vera's face and they looked in each other's eyes .

“Here,” said Malin, giving Joan a towel. Joan grabbed the towel and wrapped it around Vera. She picked her up in her arms and carried her out from the bathroom and into her bedroom. Carefully she sat Vera down on the bed and sat beside her. She leaned in and placed a kiss on Vera's cheek.

“You scared me there for a while. I'll be back soon. You have new clothes on the bed,” she said and walk out of the room.


	7. Chapter 7

Malin was standing with her arms crossed outside the room.

“Can you explain what the hell she did in your shower and who is she?”

“Let's talk in the kitchen,” Joan said in a low voice. They walked into the kitchen and Joan filled up a glass of alcohol. _I really need a drink. How am I going to explain this?_

“Take a glass if you want,” she said, placing the bottle on the table.

“Go on, tell me!”

“Vera is a friend. She came over when I prepared the food.  She was soaking wet and didn't feel so well and asked if she could have a shower before she left.” _She was so beautiful in that wet dress and she is so beautiful lying naked in my bed. Not on the desk; in my bed._ Joan felt how her mind drift away.

“And you let her, even if you know I was coming over? What did you expect? A threesome, is that what you want?”

“Yes…what? No! What are you talking about?” Joan asked looking confused and sipped from her glass.

“Never mind, and you didn't think that maybe she was drunk? Did that ever cross you mind?

“No, why should she be that? She doesn't drink.”

“Are you sure about that? How do you explain that she came over here late at night in her prom dress?”

Joan looked at Malin. “I didn't tell you she had a prom dress on.”

“No, you didn't. I saw it in the bathroom. Come on, today it's prom day. Of course she is drunk. Do you love her?” That question took Joan by surprise.

“No!”

“It's looks like you love her to me. The way you look at each other. The way you hold her in your arms. The panic you had when you found her. The way you moaned her name when I touched you.” Joan didn't know what to say.

“Go in there with her and have sex. She's lying there and waiting for you like a whore,” Malin said mockingly. Joan reacted fast at the last word. She leaned over the table and grabbed Malin's shirt and stared at her.

“Do _not_ call her a whore. How dare you? Get out of my house or I'll throw you out!” Joan loosened her grip and pointed at the door.

“I'm going and don't bother to call me again. And some advice for you. Next time you invite someone for sex, make sure you don’t have your girlfriend in the shower or in your bed.” She walked out the kitchen and slammed the door as she left. Joan locked the door, went to the bathroom, picked up the dress and hung it up to dry. She walked into the bedroom, sees that the clothes on the floor and Vera crawled under the covers.

“Vera, are you sleeping?” She whispered. There was no answer. She took off her clothes and crawled under the cover on the other side of the bed and turned her back to Vera. 

“Joan, who was that?” Vera asked quietly. Joan turned around and moved closer.

“I thought you were sleeping.”

Vera turned around so they were facing each other. Joan looks at her, lifting her hand caressed her cheek, moving it slowly down the jawline, neck and shoulder.

”It doesn’t matter who she was. What matters is that you are here now.  Don't hide under the covers, let me see you!” Joan slowly pulled down the covers from Vera.

”Joan, what are you doing?”

“Is it not obvious? I want you! Here and now!” Vera felt a cold breeze hit her body when the covers were removed. Joans looked at her naked body and can feel how aroused she was.

“You are so beautiful. She turns Vera on her back and lays herself on top pressing down her arms against the sheets. Vera gasps at the sight of Joans naked body. 

“I do the touching, I don’t want to hurt you again, understood?” Vera glanced at Joan and sees hunger in her eyes _.  Do I want this? Should I only lie here and not do anything? No, I don´t want this. It's not fair, I want to touch her._

“No! Let go of my arms. I want to touch you.” She tried to move her arms, and Joan pressed her body harder down against her and held her arms in a steady grip. She leaned down and brushed her lips against Vera's. Vera patiently waited for a kiss, closing her eyes. She was confused when nothing happened.

“Vera, look at me! If I let go of your arms, can you promise to not touch me?” Vera opened her eyes and stared into Joan's.

“I can't promise you that, but I will try. Why don't you let me touch you? I want to satisfy you too. I have read the booklet.”

Joans sits up. “Really? Did you learn something from that?” She asks and smirks.

Vera blushed. “Maybe. I don't know since I-I've never touched someone. You're the first women I ever loved. You are my first. That day at the office was my first time. Why did you pretend like it never happened? Why do you not want to talk about that day? I know you think about it as much as I do, don't you?”

Joan looked away, rising and sitting down on the bedside. She rested her head in her hands _. I have told her what I felt in the letter, didn't she read it? Why is she here? It's prom night, of course she’s drunk. Why do I feel so dizzy?_

“Yes! I do. Didn't you get my letter?” Vera rose and sit down beside Joan.

“I did, and thanks for the cap, I love it, ” she said and kissed Joan on the cheek.

“Are you drunk? Was you expecting me to have sex with you tonight? Was that your plan? Is it why you're here?” She couldn’t look at Vera as she felt how she was blushing at the thought.

“I don't know...” Vera didn't remember why she was there.

“You don’t know? I asked you four questions and you don't know any answer to them?” Joan turned her head and stared at Vera. “Tell. Me. Are. You. Drunk? Yes or No!”

“I don't know.”

“Vera! Yes or No!”

“Yes! I think I am, or I was before. Yes! Is that bad? You are drunk too.”

“I am not!” _Or am I? I felt little dizzy before. Her naked body, me on top, forcing her arms down... oh, no, did I force her? I'm feeling very dizzy_. “It's just that this day didn't end the way I planned.” She leaned back towards the mattress and sighed.

“What did you say?”

“This day didn't end the way I planned.” Vera gasped as she remembered why she were there. She looks down at Joan.

“I know why I'm here.”

“Good, tell me then,” she said, rising and wrapping the covers over them both.

“I want answers. I want to know what your words mean in your letter. When you said you don’t regret it and that the day didn't end the way you planned? …. Do you love me?” The last question slipped from Vera's mind. She wasn't going to ask that. Joan gazed at her, took her hand and squeezed it gently.

“Love is a strong word ,Vera. You know I like you a lot and am attracted to you. No, I don't regret what I did. The only thing I wish I could change or take back that day was slapping you.” She let go of Vera's hand and pulled her closer. “I am so sorry I did that,” she said and kissed her head _. I do love you!_ Vera leaned her head against Joan's shoulder. They sat quietly for a while until Vera decided to break the silence. 

“Are you angry with me for coming here tonight? I really don't know why I am here. I thought it was that I wanted to have answers. I have missed you since you left school. The prom was not fun at all. The only person I would have a dance with was not there. I missed you so I went here and maybe...”

”Maybe what?” Interrupted Joan.

“Why did you let me come in, if you were expecting her? Maybe she is right,” Vera started to sob. “Mabye I am your whore.”

Joan's body became tense. She took her hand and wiped away her tears.

“Why do you say that? You're not my whore or anyone else's.” Vera couldn't stop the tears.

“I thought you were going to take me in the shower. I…I  wanted that and I want you so bad now.” Joan placed her finger under Vera's chin and tilted her face up.

“I wanted that then, and I want you now. It seems like we're both a little drunk, and I don´t want to force you like I was doing. I think it's best we sleep now and talk more tomorrow.”

“So you're not angy with me?”

“No, I am not angry with you. I am happy you're here,” Joan said and kissed Vera. They laid down in bed and Joan wrapped her arms around her and spooned her.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a slightly different chapter. As I felt I needed to write, to build up for what's coming later.  
> The song I've used means a lot to me and in reality we danced to it. As I mentioned before in the beginging, this story is based one what i´ve experienced  
> with little imagination.

Vera woke up and heard music in the background. Thinking it was her alarm clock, she reached out to turn it off. There was no clock on the nightstand and the music was getting louder. Then she realized that she was not in her own bed _. Joan... I'm in Joan's bed_. She pinches herself to see if she is dreaming. _The music_ _sounds familiar. Is that...? Yes, it is. Wait is that Joan singing? I need to see this._ The music turned off and on again. Vera put on the t-shirt and sweatpants that were lying on the floor, opened the door and went into the living room. She smiled when she saw Joan dancing and singing to Britney Spears. 

_“Baby I'm so into you_

_You got that something_

_What can I do?_

_Baby you spin me around_

_The earth is movin', but I can't feel the ground”_

Joan noticed Vera and danced towards her and sang along with the song.

_“Every time you look at me_

_My heart is jumpin', it's easy to see”_

Joan turns off the music.

“Did I wake you?”

“Yes, you did, but it's ok. Not every day I wake up to something fun like this,” she laughed.

“Are you hungry? Come, let's go to the kitchen. I'll make us something to eat.”

Vera sat down at the table watching Joan make pancakes. They ate in silence, exchanging a few glances.

“Vera, do you remember that time when we were going to perform that dance and you backed out?”

“Yes, how would I forgot that? I felt so ashamed when I couldn't learn the moves. Why do you ask that?”

“If you don't have any plans for today you can stay here and I can teach you the moves…and I would like to see you in that dress again.”

“I can't wear that dress if you're going to teach me the moves. I can hardly breathe in that dress. You can teach me the moves first and after that I'll put the dress on.”

“Then let us begin the fun,” Joan said, smirking. They put the plates in the dishwasher and walked out to the living room. Joan turned on the music and began showing her the moves to the dance. Vera struggled with them like she did last time, and after a while she gave up and laid down in the couch. Joan turned the music off and pulled her up on her feet again.

“Vera, don't give up. I know you can do it. We'll take it slower. I'll show you again.” Joan turned the music on again and started to dance.

_“Lovin' you means_

_So much more_

_More than anything_

_I ever felt before”_

Vera watching carefully _. I can do this. It's easy. It's only us dancing and no one is watching me this time. No one is laughing at me. I can do this._ Vera started to do the moves that Joan taught her. This time it was easier to learn since they had a slower tempo. 

“Good, I knew you could! Let's take it from the beginning now. And after that you can put on your dress.” She grinned.

“Why do you want me to put on the dress? You've already seen me in it.”

“I'll tell you why when you have it on. It's hanging in the bathroom, so you can get it there after you have danced for me.”

“You drive me crazy,” Vera said.

“No, _you_ drive me crazy. I just can't sleep. Come on, dance for me now!” Vera started to dance to the song and Joan joined her. They were having fun and danced to the song a couple of times, then Joan played a new song. She danced to the moves, and Vera tried her best to do the same, but soon stumbled and hit her kneecap in the floor.

“Damn!” Joan bent down and helped her up.

“Are you okay?”

“I'm fine. I think I danced enough for now.”

“Too bad. I was looking forward to dancing with you in your prom dress.  It's your choice,” Joan said and made puppy eyes at her. Vera left the room in a hurry, and after a few minutes came back out in the dress. Joan pulled down the blinds, and turned the lights down as she lit some candles. 

“What's this? Vera asked surprised. Joan started playing a slow song. She walked over to Vera, and reached out her hand.

“May I have this dance?” Vera took her hand and Joan pulled her close. They began to dance slowly. Joan placed a soft kiss on her cheek, pulled backed and looked at her.

“You are so beautiful. You look absolutely stunning in that dress.”

“Thank you. I don't like that it fits too tight.” Vera panted when Joan put her hand on her shoulder and let her fingers glide down to her collarbone, stroking her fingers over the edge of her dress. She restrained herself from doing anything more. She put her hand on Vera's hip and took her other hand in hers. They started to dance again.

“This is what you wanted. You said you wanted to dance with me at your prom.”

“It was not like this I imagined. This is much better…this is...” _I know she love me, why should she do anything like this for me? “..._ Romantic.” She wrapped her arms around Joan and Joan took her in her arms, and kissed her forehead.

“Vera, tell me about what you imagined.” She tucked her hair behind the ear. Vera bit her lip. She could feel how wet she became from thinking about it. Her desire for Joan rushed through her like a wave and she know where this was going _.  I know she still wants me as bad as I want her. I saw that in her eyes when she touched me before. I wonder how long I can tease her before she jumps over me, or is it me she's waiting for to take the first step?_

“You and I dancing and kissing, that's all.”

“Like this?” Joan gives Vera a quick kiss on the lips.

“No, more like this.” Vera put her hand around Joan's neck and kissed her hard and fast, making Joan gasp.

“Please tell me!” Vera took her hand as they sat on the couch and Vera began to tell her what she'd imagined for their first dance.


	9. Chapter 9

Vera continued her fantasy. “I'm dancing and I see you standing and talking to some student. I have seen you looking at me all night. I walk over to you and ask for a dance. First you say no, and then I get down on my knees begging for a dance, my face was close to your groin. You look down at me and look around, blushing… I have no idea what you were thinking about,” she said and smiled at Joan. “I think it's better if you close your eyes and imagine it as I tell you.”

“You think so? Alright, I'll do that,” Joan said and closed her eyes and laid her head back. Vera hurry to put her hand under her dress and slip off her panties. Joan could feel the couch shift when Vera sat down again.

“What are you doing?”

“I'm just shifting position; it's hard to sit in this dress. Where was I?”

“I was blushing.”

“Yeah, you were blushing and looking around. I said that no one care if we danced. They know about us anyway.”

“Vera, there is no us...”

“Don't interrupt me. Be quiet and listen. You pulled me up and dragged me out to the dance floor. We danced, kissed and looked at each other. You had that fire in your eyes. We both know what that look means. We walk to the toilets, and no one was there. You closed the door and we started to make out. Then you let me touch you. I could feel your wetness and you pushed me down on my knees and--”

“Vera, stop!” Joan groans and opens her eyes.

“There is more,” Vera said with a big smile on her face. Joan looked at her with desire in her eyes.

“Take it off!”

“I can't, you need to take it off, like you did last time.” Vera turned her back against her and Joan pulled down the zipper in the back slowly. She leaned in and kissed Vera on her neck and slowly pulled the dress down. She placed kisses on her bare shoulders and back.

“Stand up.” Vera rose and held the dress when she turned around, she let go of it and it fell down, showing Joan her naked body in all its glory in front of Joan's face. Joan gasped and pulled her closer, ready to taste was in front of her. Vera was waiting for Joan to touch her and nothing happened. Vera was unsure if she did something wrong.

“Joan, what's wrong? I thought this was what you wanted?”  Joan didn't answer and pulled her down in her lap so Vera could straddle her. Taking her hand and placing it inside her pants. Vera gasped when she could feel the wetness of Joan touching her fingers.

“I think this speaks for itself,” she said as she slowly removed Vera's hand and sucked her fingers.” Vera stared at Joan as she was sucking her fingers one at a time. She leaned forward and kissed her, feeling Joan's scent against her lips. Joan grabbed Vera's butt, squeezing and lifting her so Vera was sitting on her knees. Vera placed her hand behind Joan's neck and the kiss got deeper and harder. She moaned in Joan's mouth when she felt a finger stroke her wet lips and teasing and twisted around in her wet curls. Joan broke the kiss.

“Vera, take off my clothes! My nipples want to say hi.” Vera smiled, pulling the t-shirt over her head and then the sports bra. The nipples were standing out. Vera looked at her breast and then up at Joan and she nodded.

“It's ok, I want you to touch me.” Vera took the nipples between her fingertips and started to tweak them. She put her lips around them, starting to lick and suck on them. She could feel how they got harder. Joan closed her eyes and leaned her head back, her hands caressing Vera' body _. I wonder how long she planned this? I like this. I want her to touch me more. I want to feel her inside me. I wonder how it feels..._

“Take of my pants.” Vera stood up and bent down on her knees and pulled off Joan's pants. Joan lifted her butt helping her. Vera sat down on her knees and looked at Joan's wets curls. She gulped and leaned her head forward against her thighs. Joan stopped her.

“Use your fingers.” She took Vera's hand and raised it against her own mouth, sucking her fingers and putting her hand down between her legs. She moved Vera's hand up and down then she let go of it. Vera circles her fingers around her clit, up and down the slit, pushing against it and took some wetness and spread it over her clit. She began to rub and finally her finger slid inside. She moved them slowly against her inner walls, feeling every texture, every bump. She slid a second finger inside and curled them. She must have touched a sensitive part because Joan's body shivered at the touch, and she let out a high moan. She started to pump in and out in a slow tempo, rubbing her clit faster. Joan moans and took Vera's hand away. Vera looked up at her.

“Joan, what's wrong? Did I do something?” 

Joan leaned down and their lips met in a kiss. “No, you did everything right. It's something...” _How am I going to tell her this? I can't tell her. Why did I stop her? I really liked her inside me. It felt so weird, and that thing she did with her fingers... I want her so badly it hurts. I want her now. I want to taste her and lick every inch of her. I'm so wet and horny I could throw myself over her like an animal and fuck her. What´s wrong with me? She wants me too._

“Do you want me to take you here or in the bedroom?”

“What?”

“I said--”

“I heard you. What did that come from? You're making me confused. I'm trying to understand. Yesterday in the shower you wanted me and in the bed. You wanted me. Then when I tried to seduce you, you don't want me. And now you want to fuck me. What the hell's wrong with you?” She asked irritated, reaching for her dress and standing up and turning around. Joan grabbed her wrist and looked at her.

“Vera, I'm sorry. Don't go. I'm having a hard time right now. I... I'm not used to this…give me another chance.”

“How can I give you another chance if you don’t tell me what's wrong? It's felt very uncomfortable to stand like this, can I put my dress on or are you going to fuck me?” She asked mockingly. Joan became angry, stood up and dragged her to the bedroom and forced her down on the bed.

“Is this what you want? Do you want me to be hard and dominate you? Do you want me to fuck you hard? Tell me.” She throws herself like an animal over Vera and forced her arms down over her head.

“Let's see how wet you are this time my little whore.” When Joan shifted the grip of her arms, Vera's hand came up with a great force and hit Joan on the cheek. Joan pulled back surprised by the slap. She looked down at her naked body and tried to maintain eye contact. Vera turned her head, waiting for Joan to hit her back. Joan rolled over onto her back.

“Fuck! Vera, I'm sorry, I didn't... I…don't know what's wrong with me. I deserved that slap. Vera please forgive me.”

Vera turned her head, and Joan could see tears in her eyes. “Why? You called me your whore, is that what I am?”  Joan moved closer and wrapped her arms around her.

“I'm so sorry I said that. You’re not my whore, you are my fighter,” she said and stroked her chin. “My lovely fighter and damn you can hit.” Their eyes meet, Vera gives her a quick smile before she buried her face against Joan's neck.

“There is something I must tell you. It's not easy for me to talk about. I have never told anyone,” Joan said. Vera pulled back and looked at Joan.

“Is it about why you act the way you do?”

“I guess so, probably. Before I tell you… I’m hungry, are you? I'll make us something.” Before Vera could answer the question, she hurried up and put on a bathrobe and walked out.


	10. Chapter 10

Vera put a pillow behind her back, and leaned against the headboard as she crawled under the covers. _Something is wrong; I can feel it. She's acting so strange. First she wants me and then she doesn't, and then she wants me again. And what happened when I touched her? That sound – was that pain or pleasure? And earlier, was she going to rape me? Why the hell am I still here?_  

Joan came in with a tray and placed it on the bed. She took off her robe and crawled under the covers. They both ate in awkward silence.

“Are you finished?” Vera nodded and Joan took away the tray and crawled back in again.

“I want you to listen carefully. I will never speak of this again. What I will tell you is to never leave this room. Do you understand?” Vera nodded.

“When I was a teenager, I was hanging around with some guys. One day I was home with one of them. Everything was fine. We talked and listened to music. Then from out of nowhere he tried to get inside my pants. He put his hand on my thigh and… he didn't force me. He just talked me through it. I can't remember or I don't want to remember. Anyway, nothing happened. Then he asked for my friend's number and I gave it to him. Two days later my friends said she is going to meet someone. I told her to be careful. She begged me not to tell that her mom, and I promised I wouldn't. Her mom called and I lied for her. The day after my friend is acting weird, and I can see something is wrong.

She told me she was forced to have sex in the woods, and then she changed her story and said she wasn't forced at all but that she wanted it. I was so confused about the situation, especially when she told me who she had been with. It was the same guy that I have given her number to. I know now that it was not my fault, but I carried that guilt around with me for so many years. I built up a wall against me and I promised myself that no man or anyone else would ever touch me like that again. I couldn’t keep that promise. I met a woman and she used me for her own pleasure. She was hard and taught me how to fuck without feeling something. I never had a normal relationship or sex life. What is normal now? I've only fucked hard not to feel anything. I like being hard, fast and no feelings involved. I guess that's the reason I've never had a relationship. I have always fucked others with my strap-on or the dildo they have. I'm not gentle, I do it hard. I guess it's all the anger I carried inside me that comes out. I have difficulty with others touching me and giving me pleasure. I'm the one who give,s not takes. Then you came into my life and everything changed. I have wanted to have you for so long, but you were my student and I was your mentor. I knew that it would never happen. Until that day I got your letter. I knew then I had a chance to have you for myself. And I wanted so badly to fuck you hard on the desk until you screamed and begged me to stop. So I took the chance and I don’t regret it at all. I got what I wanted. Then you touched me and I slapped you. Believe me, I am so sorry for that.” Joan took Vera's hand and squeezed it gently, and Vera squeezes it back.

“I forgive you _. What am I doing now? I knew something was wrong, I just never expected to hear this. What can I say?_ _I want to hold her in my arms. What if she pushes me away?_

“Vera...please forgive me for all I did to you _._ I didn't mean to hurt you in any way. I...I,” sobbed Joan. Vera wrapped her arms around her and Joan's face pressed against her bosom.  Vera blushed when she could feel her body react on the touch. She stroked her back and placed a kiss on her head. She lingered and whispered, “I still love you no matter what you have done to me. I understand now.”

Joan lifted her head and looked questioningly at her. “Do you? How can you do that? I took your virginity, I hit you, I hurt your feelings, and I almost...”

“You don’t have to say the word, “interrupted Vera. Joan felt Vera's hand caress her back and neck, then pressed her lips against hers.

Joan pulled back. “I need you. Please stay with me tonight.”

“I will stay…I need you too…Joan the thing that happen before when I...”  She cleared her throat, “when I--the thing I did when...did I hurt you?”

Joan blushed _.  I can't believe she asked that. Can I say the truth or should I lie? I have told her my deepest secret. She's still here, and she wants to stay here tonight. She still wants me like I want her._

“This I embarrassing. The truth is, I have never experienced that before. I've never let anyone be inside me in that way. You didn't hurt me, in fact I would like you to do that again...if you still want me?” She asked and leaned against the headboard.

“Do you have to ask that? I’m still here naked in your bed. It may be awkward between us right now, but I don't care. Maybe I'm stupid, but I still want you and I would like to touch you again.”

“Are you sure about this? Do you want to try again?”

“Yes, but I don't know if I'm ready to be fucked with a strap-on.”

Joan looked shocked and laughed. “Vera I wasn't thinking about that. I meant us, if you wanted to...never mind. Come here.” Joan put her arms around her and pulled her close. She kissed her forehead, eyes and lips. Vera opened her mouth and their tongues start to circle around, the kiss getting deeper. Vera placed her hand on Joan's breast and found her nipples. She swirled her nipples between her fingers and Joan moaned in her month as she pinched it _. She is so innocent and gentle in her touch. I have never felt this before. She was right, we had an awkward moment, but she still wants this. I will let her decide what to do. I will not force her ever again_.


	11. Chapter 11

Joan broke the kiss, and looked at Vera.

“Vera, you know I said that it's nothing between us. Let's forget it for now and let our bodies melt together and become one. I have never done this before with anyone so you need to let me know if I go too fast.”

“What do you mean?”

“Vera, I...I want to make love to you.” Vera cupped her chin, kissed her and laid Joan down on her back.

“I would like that. Does that mean I’m allowed to touch you?” Joan nodded.

She laid down on Joan and kissed her neck. Joan's hand caressed her body. Vera cupped her breast, licked and kissed around the areola, flicking it with her tongue before she put her lips around it and started sucking. Joan's hand stroked her hair and neck. Vera took her other breast and began sucking on it too, making Joan close her eyes. She fell how Vera took her nipples in her mouth and sucking on them. She could feel how hard it was, and there was a tingling feeling between her legs. Vera placed kisses down her stomach and on her thighs. She spread her legs wider and buried her head between them. She was going to put out her tongue and start licking when Joan's hand stopped her. She looked up at Joan who was blushing.

“Vera, please don't...you don't—if  you don't want to. I know this is the first time and it can feel awkward to give pleasure to someone for the first time.”  _And it the first time for me, I have never let anyone do this to me before. I want this. Is she ready for this?_

“I want to try.”

“Take a look in the bedside table. I have something there you can use.” Vera pulled out the drawer and saw  the sex toys laying there. Joan sees Vera swallow hard.

“Don't worry, I will not use them this time. Take out the lube. It's there somewhere.” She found a small bottle with the text that read: “Strawberry flavored lubricant.” She took the bottle and held it in her hands. Joan took the bottle from Vera, put some lube on her finger and started touching herself. Vera's eyes widened, and she bit her lip hard when she felt the wetness building up in her by watching Joan touching herself.  She took away Joan's hand and put some lube on her fingers and started stroking her lips. Running the finger up and down around her slit, circling and pushing at her clit. She lowered her face and spread Joan's legs wider, and began to lick her. She moaned at the strawberry taste that touched her lips and buried her head more into Joan's sex and licked harder. Joan's body jolted under her touch and she gasped.

“Oh Vera, please take it easy…I ….I have...I have...” Vera stopped and looked up at her. Joan's eyes are closed and her cheeks are red. She moveed up and kissed her and then slowly kissed her way down again, lingering on her pubic bone.

“You don't have to feel ashamed. I wanted to give you pleasure. I want this. I understand. You've never let anyone be this close to you before. It must be very confusing for you to hear that I love you, when you thought you couldn't have me and here I am in your bed between your legs.”

Joan pulled her head down and Vera started to lick her again. She licked her slowly, sliding one finger inside and licking around her clit. She moved her finger slowly and she heard Joan panting so she slide another finger and pressed inside. Joan's body shivered and she moans. Vera pressed harder and licked her faster. She removed her fingers and thrust her tongue inside.

Joan jumped, catching her breath before she said, “Are you sure you haven't done this before? Don't answer, keep going.”

Vera thrusted her tongue in and out, working her tongue all over Joan's sex. She began pumping her fingers in and out and curled them. Joan let out a high moan and her body shivered, but nothing more happened.  She can feel Joan's hand on her shoulder and her voice.

“You can stop!” Vera looks up at Joan.

“But you…didn't…nothing happened. I mean, didn't you enjoy it? Joan cupped her face and pull her up against her lips and kissed her passionately, pulling back and looked into her eyes.

“It doesn’t matter if I have an orgasm or not. What matters is that I enjoyed it and I did very much! Sex isn't only about the orgasm. It is so much more and you showed me that today. I have never let anyone touch me like you did. I have never let anyone be inside me like you were. Vera, you were giving me pleasure that I never felt before and I love you for that. Now it's my turn to give you,” she said and gently laid Vera down on her back.

“Did you just say you love me?”

“No, I didn't.”

“Yes, you did. Say it again.”

“Vera!”

“What?”

“Alright I said it, but don’t make a fuss of it.”

“You love me and you want to eat me. You want to fuck me,” teased Vera. Joan leaned over and pressed her body against hers so their breasts were touching each other. She kissed her neck and whispered in the ear.

“So someone likes to tease. Well, two can play at that game,” she said before she took the earlobe between her lips and sucked on it. Vera closed her eyes, moaning and her hands ran over her back.

Joan kissed her neck, eyes, cheeks and nose. She spread Vera's legs with her own and pushed and started rocking against her. Kissed her on the mouth and lingered there for Vera to kiss her back. Vera opened her eyes and leaned up for the kiss. Joan smiled, turning her head so the kiss landed on her cheek. Then she turned back and took her lower lip between hers and sucked it. Her hand stroked her breast and her fingers swirled the nipples. She teased her a little before she took her nipple between her teeth and nibbled. She kissed her collarbone, around the breast, down her belly, moving herself down a bit to linger at the pubic bone. Rising on her knees, she reached for the pillow and put it under Vera's hips, kneeling between her legs. Lifting one leg slowly towards her shoulder while kissing it and laying it over her shoulder and the same with the other leg.

“You are so beautiful! She said while her fingers stroked her lips… “And wet.  “Are you sure you don’t want me to fuck you with the strap-on?” She grinned and waited for Vera's reaction. Vera's eyes widened and she swallowed hard, biting her lip.

“If you want?”

Joan looked shocked at her _. I didn't expect that answer. Can I do it? Should I do it?  Does she really want it? No I can´t, I know what will happen._

“No, not this time,” she said and placed her hands on Vera's hips, pulling her closer. She leaned down between her legs and blew gently on her clit.

During the whole time when she making love with Vera, Joan was gentle and slow in her touches. Not like the first time in the office when she was fast and hard. Now she observes every sound and movement. Sometimes she stopped and asked Vera what she liked and how she wanted it. She explored every inch of her body with kisses and soft touches. This was a new experience for them both.


	12. Chapter 12

Vera asked if they could take a shower together. Joan had hesitated before she decided to join her. Even though they had decided that they would only shower together, neither of them could keep their hands off of each other. Both their desires from yesterday had come true. Joan was overwhelmed with feelings she'd never felt before. It been too much for her on one day.

She got out of the shower, hurrying to get dressed and went into the living room and sat down on the couch. She buried her face in her hands, holding back the tears. Vera came in right after and sat down beside her, stroking her back.

“Are you ok? What happened?”

Joan looked at her. “I'm fine, it's just been a long day. I’m tired and hungry. We can order pizza if you want and watch a movie before we go to bed, or have you changed your mind about staying”

“Sounds like a good idea, and no I haven't. I want to stay.”

They ordered pizza but it was a long wait, so they decided to start watching the movie while they were waiting. The doorbell rang, and Joan went into the kitchen to get something to drink while Vera answered the door. Joan heard Vera calling for her. She almost dropped the glass and bottle she was holding when she noticed Malin standing in the door holding the pizza box _. I can´t believe this. What is she doing here? She doesn’t work at the pizzeria. I need to handle this calmly so Vera doesn't notice what's going on._

“Take this. I'll pay for the pizza.” She gave the glass and bottle to Vera who took it into the living room,  waiting for Joan to come back with the pizza. She heard them talking and how her name was mentioned in the conversation. She snuck closer and listened.

“You can't threaten me with that. Vera is no longer my student.”

“I don't get it. You offered me to have sex with you,” she said loudly.

“Lower your voice. I did not offer you to have sex with me. I invited you because I wanted to have sex. So don't come here and accuse me of something I haven't done.”

“Do you love her?”

“No!”

“Why is she still here then? You just fucked her...instead of me?”

“Yes…no...what do mean instead of you?”

“You said it yourself. You wanted to have sex. I was gone and she was still here. Easy to fuck someone who is drunk.”

“Don't say that again! What I do and don't do have nothing to do with you,” she said as she grabbed Malin's shirt. The pizza box fell to the ground. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want you,” she said and pulled Joan closer and kissed her. Joan broke the kiss and pushed her away.

“No, I can't! Please leave now. Here is the money for the pizza. Go.” Malin bent down and picked up the pizza box and gave it to Joan.

“I know you love her,” she whispered before she turned around and walked away.

“Wait! Joan grabbed her wrist and looked at her. “I’m sorry.”

“Thanks, me too. Enjoy your pizza.”

Vera was sitting on the couch and sipping her wine. She had heard their conversation and she had seen how Joan grabbed Malin's shirt, their kiss, how she had pushed her away, and how she gave her the money. Then Vera had hurried back _. Should I confront her about this? Should I say something at all? No, I don´t want to ruin this last night together. This is the last time. I must tell her. I don’t´ want this to be... I wish I..._

“Sorry it took such a long time. I'm starving, let's eat.” Joan put the pizza onto the table and sat down beside Vera, taking the remote control and turned on the movie. After they finished eating, they curled up together under a blanket. Vera was resting her head on Joan's shoulder.

“Joan, there is something I want to know.”

Joan grew tense. _Shit, please don’t ask what happened. How will I explain to her? I know she heard our conversation. I don't want to ruin this night._

“When you quit work, what will you do?” Vera asked.

Joan sighed. _Thank god._

“I don't know. I really don't know. Why do you ask?”

“No reason, was only wondering.” You're a good dancer. Maybe you could do something with that?”

“Do you really think that? I haven't thought about that.”

“Yes, I would come and take lessons from you if I could. I wish I could. I'm going to move.”

“When?”

“Next week. I wish I wasn't. I wish I didn't write that letter to you, then we could still be friends.”

Joan kissed her head. “Oh, Vera, I know you love me…I wish...I...was confused when I got the letter, but I'm happy you wrote it. Look what came out of it. We are sitting here and we're still friends, even with some benefits.” She smirked. Vera leaned up and kissed Joan.

“Yes, we are. Let us have this night together. I'm yours tonight.”

They began kissing passionately. Joan took her hand, the bottle in the other and they went to bed.

The next morning when Vera woke up, she felt something hard pressing against her hip. She reached out her hand and pull up the strap-on. She smiled and blushed. She remembered how Joan had blushed when Vera asked if she could try it on and used it. She turned around and spooned her. She snuggled her face in her neck and kissed it. Her hand reached over Joan's hip and  down to her curls. Slowly her fingers started to circle around her slit and clit. Joan moaned.

“Oh, Vera I love you.” Vera was so surprised over what she heard that she stopped. She wasn't sure if she heard right, and she looked down at her face. Joan opened her eyes and within a second, Vera was lying on her back with Joan on top, kissing her.

“Good morning beauty.” She started to tickle her. “Did you try to do something with me? Did you enjoy the last night with me?” She grinned. Vera looked into her eyes _. What did happen? Was she awake? Did she mean what she said? I can´t read anything in her eyes, but I know she must feel something for me._

“Good morning lovely. Stop tickling me,” she giggled. “I enjoyed every bit of it.” She bit her lip. “Thank you for the new experience. Please stop tickling. Joan stopped tickling her and laid down beside her, pulling her closer. Vera placed her head on her chest.

“Vera, thank you for you staying.”

“Thank you for letting me. I had hoped it would be like this. You holding me, and me lying here.”

I know you did. Me too. When do you need to be home today? I can take the bus with you into the city if you want. But no one can see us together. You know what I mean.”

“I know, as soon as we leave this place we're friends. And nothing of this has happened. I know.” She sighed.

“No, I didn't say that. Only that…it doesn't matter what I say. You still don't think that this meant something to me, but it does. It's just that you love me and I am attracted to you. I care about you. Please don't let us argue about this now. I think it's time for breakfast.”

They get dressed and ate breakfast in silence... but something between them had changed. 


	13. Chapter 13

They didn't say a word to each other during the bus ride into the city. When they get off the bus, Joan took Vera's hand. Vera looked down at her hand and up at Joan. Joan pulled her aside so no one could see them. She gave Vera a quick kiss on the lips.

“Vera, remember this: 'Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.' I will miss you.”

“I'll miss you too. Is this goodbye?” She asked, looking at Joan. Joan caressed her cheek and stoked her hair behind the ear.

“No. You can always call me. I'm still your friend. I need to go now.”

“Wait!” Joan turned around.

“You need to get your clothes back. I can go somewhere and change into the dress,” Vera said and looked down in the plastic bag where the dress was.

“Keep them, you look great in them.” Joan turned around and walked away as Vera watched her leave.

_Why didn't I write that letter earlier? Maybe it could have been us then. I will never see her again. She knows I won't call, so why did she say that? Or does she want me to call her? I need to go home and forget about her_.

Joan sat down in a café when she felt something touching her shoulder, hearing a voice say, “Hi.” She looked up and gasped. 

“Malin. What are you doing here?”

“I work here.”

“Here? I didn't know that _. Of all cafes I could choose, I walk into hers._

“Can we talk?”

“Please sit down.”

They talked about what had been happening between them and how they felt about each other. They decided they were going to try again. During the weekend they went out to have some drinks and dance.

After they went home, Malin ended up in her bed to have sex with her. Joan thought how she used to be hard and fast, and didn't let her touch her. She didn't stay over, and she called a taxi and left as soon as she could.

When she arrived home she took a look at her phone. _She hasn't called today either._   _What have I done? Doesn't she want to call me? What's wrong with me? I can't stop thinking about her. It's only been a week since we said goodbye. Was it really a goodbye?_

She went into the living room and turned on the TV. After she went to her bedroom and started taking off her clothes. She heard some music from the TV and started to sing along.

_You drive me crazy_

_I just can't sleep_

_I am so excited, I am in too deep_

_Oh, crazy_

_But it feels alright_

_Baby, thinkin' of you keeps me up all night_

She smiled to herself. _Of all songs that could play, I hear our song. Our song. I miss her. Will we ever see each other again? Do I have to forget about her?_

She put on her robe, sitting down on the couch and began zapping through the channels. There was nothing on the TV so she turned on a movie. She fell asleep on the couch and started dreaming. She woke to the phone ringing. _Vera!_ She felt disappointment when she hear Malin's voice. 

“So you breaking up with me why? That's not true, I do have feelings for you…no I don't...I'm so sorry. You're right...I do love her. I always have!”

The weeks went by fast. Vera had moved to a new school. She tried hard to forget Joan but she thought about her every day. Every free time she got, she sat down and wrote poems about her. Some she kept, and some she just wrote to get her emotions out. Joan had become her muse in the writing process. One day one of the other students told her that a dance teacher was coming to the school. 

“Have you heard that a new dance teacher is coming next week? I think her name was Fer..

Ferguson.” Vera gasped. She couldn't believe that she heard right. Her heart was beating so fast that she didn't hear rest of what she was saying. _Can't believe she's coming here. I need to see her. What will I say? How will I act around her? She listened to me._

“Sorry what did you say?”

“She is going to be here the whole week. It's going to be so fun. Hope she's hot.”

“Oh, she is!”

“How do you know? Oh, it's her you have been talking about? How do you feel about that?”

“I don't know. I never thought I would see her again. So I guess it makes me happy,” she said and put on a fake smile. _Do I really want to meet her again? I have try to forget her and move on and now she coming here. To my school. Did she know I go here? Did she come for me? Damn I miss her so much._

The week came and Vera did everything to avoid Joan. She didn't go to the dance classes and she stayed away from the dining room and other places she knew that Joan could be or walk by. It was Friday and it was time to go home for the weekend. Vera was sitting on the bus and just as she was about to close the door, a women came running. Vera looked up and she sees it's Joan. Joan searched for a place to sit, and she noticed Vera looking out the window. She sat down beside her.

“Is this seat taken?”

“No, you can sit down,” she said, still looking out _. I can't look at her. What will I say? I can give her my book with poems that she can read. Then I don’t have to talk._  

“Here, please read this,” she said and placed the book on Joan's knee. Joan started to read.

“They're good. You should be a writer.”

“Thank you. You know who they are about?”

“Yes, Vera, I know. Please look at me.” Vera turned her head and looked at her. “Why didn't you call me? Why were you not at the week's dance classes? I missed you.” Joan placed her hand on Vera's leg. Vera looked down at her hand and up at Joan.

“I didn't think you wanted me to call you. I…I'm sorry I didn't turn up on your class. I just couldn't meet you again. One part of me wanted it, but the other part didn't.”

“I understand. I felt the same at first, but then I have been thinking. I have been thinking about us,” she said and placed her hand over Vera's.

“Us? What do you mean?”

“Vera I, haven't been honest, not to you or to myself. I love you!

Vera glanced at Joan. _Did she say she loves me? Yes, I know she did! I need to hear it again._

“Sorry, I didn't hear,” she said and smiled.

“You're really driving me crazy, you know that? I know you heard me.”

“Nope,” Vera said.

Joan caressed Vera's hand with her thumb and placed a kiss on her cheek.

“Vera, I love you. I always have and I always will”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this story and for all comments i got.   
> I hope you enjoy it and maybe even figured out what was real and what was fiction ;)   
> The quote i use in this last chapter 'Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have" is by unknown author.  
> It's my favorite quote and I think it's perfect for it´s what the theme of this story was about.
> 
> I have now start to write on my second story. i have listen to what people have leave in the comments about longer chapter, so i will try to work on that. 
> 
> MsYukari thank you so much for helping me correct my story and for helping me believe in my writing!


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